Managing your feelings

Managing a stressful experience like cancer can be incredibly tough. There's no right or wrong way to feel or deal with it and everyone is different. You might feel:

  • Anxiety
  • Fear
  • Guilt
  • Loneliness
  • Shock Distress
  • Denial Anger
  • Grief
  • Loss
  • Sadness
  • Fatigue.

For some people, these feelings do settle over time but others may need additional support.

What can I do now to manage these emotions?

Having cancer can bring strong or uncomfortable emotions.

 

You might feel tense, restless or overwhelmed, which are natural reactions to stress. Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique below, to help you feel calmer and more in control. 

 

Find things you can: 

See

What can you see around you? Notice the colour, shape and texture.

Feel

Can you feel your feet on the ground, your clothes on your skin, or the texture of an object you're holding?

Hear

Close your eyes to focus. Are the sounds loud or quiet, near or far, high or low pitch?

Smell

Can you smell something on or around you? If not, try moving around or finding something with a clear scent.

Taste

Are you eating, or do you have a mint or sweet? Can you taste toothpaste or coffee from earlier?

What can I do to prepare for the future?

Difficult emotions can come up at any time and it can help to plan ahead. Create a 'managing toolbox', where you keep things that help you feel calmer. It could include:

Distraction techniques

Do things that take your mind off the problem until you feel more able to think about it. For example, crosswords puzzles, sudoku, arts and crafts, reading or reciting song lyrics to yourself.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help to keep you in the present. It involves focusing on what's around you and not dwelling too much on the past or future. 

Scan the QR codes below for breathing and relaxation exercises:

QR code directing users to a mindfulness websiteQR code directing users to a mindfulness website   

Self-soothing

Comfort yourself using your five senses. This could include:

  • touch - a stress ball or soft blanket
  • hear - listen to music
  • see - look at happy or peaceful pictures
  • taste - mints, a hot drink or sour sweets
  • smell - a lotion or essential oils.

NHS services

You might still feel overwhelmed at times, even if you're doing all the right things, and that's okay. Sometimes extra professional support can be helpful.

Contact a healthcare professional

Your clinical nurse specialist (CNS) or cancer support worker (CSW) will support you and your loved ones through your diagnosis and treatment. Ask them about peer support groups. You may find it helpful to talk to others who understand what you're going through.

Cancer Counselling and Psychological Service

This service can help you manage difficult thoughts, feelings and experiences relating to cancer in a supportive
and confidential environment. If you feel this is right for you, speak to a healthcare professional.

NHS talking therapies

Talking therapies are effective and confidential treatments delivered by fully trained and accredited NHS practitioners.Find more information at www.kmtalkingtherapies.co.uk  

Kent and Medway Cancer Alliance

Offers resources to help you understand your diagnosis and treatment and connects you to services that support you.

Visit www.kentandmedwaycanceralliance.nhs.uk  for more information.

Other services

Details about other services available to support you.

Everyday Active Kent

Offers free support to help people build activity into daily life in a way that suits their health and abilities. Find more information at www.everydayactivekent.org.uk 

Cancer charities

Charities offer advice and support groups specific to your type of cancer. Look online or ask your CNS for details.

Macmillan

Helps improve the quality of life for people of all ages with a terminal illness. Care is tailored to your needs and can be provided at the hospice, your home, or in the community.

Hospices

Find your local hospice at www.hospiceuk.org 

Social prescribing

Connects people to activities, groups and support that improves health and wellbeing. Find more information at www.kmhealthandcare.uk/social-prescribing 

Crisis services

There may be times when you feel so overwhelmed or distressed that you are unable to look after yourself or you have thoughts of harming yourself. It's important to know you are not alone and support is available.

Emergency support

If it is an emergency and your life is at risk, phone 999.

Urgent support

If you require urgent mental health support, phone NHS 111 and select the mental health option.

Safe havens

Safe havens offer out-of-hours mental health support to anyone over 18 in Kent and Medway. No referral or appointment is required. Find more information at
www.kmhealthandcare.uk/safe-havens 

Samaritans

If you would like to speak to someone about how you've been feeling, you can phone the Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.